Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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