I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
