I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
