I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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