apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
