sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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