2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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