so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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