What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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