Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
