Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
