i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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