Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
