Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Shame is for Republicans.
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