hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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