i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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