I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she told me i tasted like america
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
