; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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