where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
