And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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