i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize