HIV tests are more positive than that guy
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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