I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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