I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
