Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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