hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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