i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
