i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I showed him my bush... on skype.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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