im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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