sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
