...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize