Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
