my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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