Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
