Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
