I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
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