Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
