Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
