You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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