So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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