wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
