She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
