How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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