she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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