thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
