do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You may now shotgun with the bride
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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