mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
