dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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