I didn't shave. On purpose
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
