so explain again why im purple
no
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
