I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
