what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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