I need help removing her.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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