Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
