I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize