Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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