I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
