Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
