she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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