so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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