Nicole vs. Life
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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