oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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