i don't plan on having that self control this summer
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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