i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
