im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
