I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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