can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
