What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
