STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize